eric's Writing Portfolio

A mirror room at Teamslabs: Borderless, Tokyo, Japan, Taken in 2024.

I woke up in a room of sterile lights and mechanical innocence. The walls’ glow pushed into my skull as I squinted to see several men and women in lab coats. 

It’s ok, Mr.  You’re back to life.

I lay on the bed.

What was it like?

You feel like you’re falling. You’re somehow moving and whizzing by the space around you. You could say it’s ether. And yet, there is no air wooshing by your ears. You hear only a slight ringing. I can’t tell if it’s tinnitus or actually there.

Can you see anything?

It’s pitch black. I can’t tell if my eyes are open or closed or if I even have them.

Does it feel like you can move? Is there a body in death?

Your mouth doesn’t get dry, and your stomach doesn’t growl for sustenance. Really, you don’t feel a mouth or a stomach at all. It’s as if the controller has disconnected, or maybe your body has dematerialized.

I smirked at their lousy attempt to cake professionalism upon horror-filled faces. Those professors and post-docs who stared down determinism, existential dread, and the meaninglessness of life chewed up their cheeks and swallowed fear like toddlers crossing a street for the first time. 

I recited a poem I’d written and perfected over the years in case I’d ever come back. It wasn’t scary to me anymore after having lived through it for so long. 

You really shouldn’t have brought me back. What difference would it make? To exist, to be born, to live, is to ride a train towards death, the tomb of all souls. It’s unavoidable because you’ve already been born. 

Suddenly, a door opened in the wall, and revealed a city street. The sounds of cars and blabber and bicycle bells rushed across my face, as I realized how long it’s been since I’ve really heard them. It felt foreign after living in death for so long.

I walked towards the light.

The sounds of the city became louder and louder until I could make out what the crowd gathered outside were talking about.

“Go back,” they chanted in unison. “The world is ours now.”

Sprinting against incarceration, I stepped out into a city. Cars buzzed by with little sound, the buildings were covered in blinding screens, and in the distance, I saw some strangely tall yet thin towers. But the signs telling me to go home, back to where I came from dominated the skyline. 

“No,” I said, “No…No…No…No…Don’t take me back there! You must know. You must-”

A hand came over my mouth. I tried to push away with my lips, but I couldn’t. As I shook my head, the hand came off the arm, squirting a couple drops of cold blood on my waist. The flesh had turned to one. 

As I stepped back, the ground collapsed beneath me. I flipped over, falling into the abyss where no light can break through the dark. I saw the blue dome and cotton candy disappear from view as the hole became smaller and smaller in the distance. The smells faded, and when I blinked, it was gone. 

I woke up in death.

Death.

Forever.

Until I dream again.